


Remember Us

by twinkling_skies



Category: EXO (Band), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, brother kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkling_skies/pseuds/twinkling_skies
Summary: Where two people, who were once inseparable, try to learn to be strangers again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story was based off of "Remember" by Apink.  
>  And I'm quite unsatisfied with this cause it ended up becoming not as Baekhyun focused as I wanted it to be? :/ Hahaha sort of became a "Kyungsoo would be such an amazing brother" fanfic. But yeah...Enjoy ✨

You were fine now. You were happy. You were okay. Everything could still function without him.   
The freezing sea breeze stings your eyes as it whips your dark hair into your face. It reminds you of how he used to laugh(throaty yet gentle), comment "You look silly!", and reach over to tenderly push your hair behind your ear. Looking out to the endless horizon, you realise that the once spectacular burst of colours that painted the sky is nothing more than a stain; a stubborn stain that couldn't be removed even if you rubbed your knuckles raw. You hug your knees tightly to your chest and try your best to ignore the fact that the shivering doesn't stop.   
"I'm okay." you whisper, almost inaudibly, against the suddenly deafening wind.   
You're unsure if the tears rolling down your numb cheeks were caused by the dry wind or the hollow feeling in your chest, so you decide to pretend that they aren't there; just like that how you pretend that the space to your left has always been vacant.   
By the time your brother finds you, you're almost convinced that you can let everything go and just forget. But, of course, seeing Kyungsoo just reminds you of those nasty words that caused a lump to form in your throat-"I-well...I thought this was important for you to know. Baekhyun... Baekhyun got a girlfriend. Her name is Taeyeon." He even showed you a photo that Baekhyun had sent him. (only because you had practically begged for one)  
Your eyes were immediately greedy to see his face. But the sight of her slim arms wrapped around his torso sparked something in you. It left a nasty taste in the back of your throat and your eyes shot to her smiling face; their shining faces were burned into the back of your eyelids. You stalked off bitterly because your initial thought was, "If she isn't pretty, it'll be fine."   
You scoffed and thought, "She's flipping flawless. Perfect face shape, doll eyes, pink lips, slim figure and just the right frame. Forget me."  
But if you weren't so blinded by your own insecurities, you would've wondered why you couldn't tell whether Baekhyun looked happy or not.   
Baekhyun got a girlfriend. Baekhyun has moved on. Baekhyun doesn't need you. Baekhyun is gone.   
You think you can't cry anymore, and that all your energy has been depleted, but the moment Kyungsoo settles down on your right and wraps his warm arm around your shoulders, your fácade crumbles. You bury your face into Kyungsoo's welcoming chest and sob, breaths laboured and sharp. You know, by the tightening of your older brother's arms, that you're hysterical. And you realise that you've never been so thankful to have Kyungsoo, the brother who always lent you a shoulder to cry on, the brother who could take one look at you and know exactly what you needed, the brother who loves you.   
Kyungsoo stays by your side, arms securing you away from the harsh winds, until even your shadows disappear and your fingers turn numb. 

 

"Do you remember,  
the sun that shone on  
us?"

 

A week later, you're sitting in your room. You're sitting in your favourite spot, on the velvet ottoman which gives you the perfect view of the crashing waves and sparkling sand. You let Kyungsoo's words ring in your head. "I know what you're doing. You should stop. Letting this drag you down is only going to lead to you getting drowned. Don't push everyone who cares about you away, you don't deserve that."   
Maybe you had been a little more apathetic towards others. Maybe you had come off as uncaring, or even mean. Maybe you had stopped hanging out with your friends. But it didn't matter. You could do what you want with your life. Kyungsoo just didn't understand the anger that shot straight to your gut everytime someone in school sent you a pitying look, the fear that gripped your heart whenever any of those people came up to you asking "Are you ok?", the pure emptiness that overwhelmed you after that. It wasn't your fault that you just wanted everyone to leave you alone and stop thinking that you were weak and lonely; that you had just been ditched by your best friend.   
All you know is that you feel like you've been running around in a blistering hot desert in a desperate search for water, but you just end up running into mirage after mirage. Even when you do finally see the shimmer of water in the distance, a sandstorm rages over and hard bits of sand bite into your delicate skin and momentarily blind you. As soon as you barely escape the brutal attack, you look up and everything you wished for has turned into endless dunes of sand again; intense waves of heat send you toppling over into a bottomless pit of darkness.   
You're frightened.   
Your eyelids fly open, and you aren't sure when you had shut them. The sun glares down at you, but you have to fight the urge to shiver. Running your fingers across the cool glass window, you wonder when was the last time your heart smiled. You think back again to Kyungsoo's words and realise that his voice had broken. You aren't the only one who was suffering. The least you can do now is to pick up all the less broken pieces, and put them together one by one, in hopes that it will be enough to clean up the mess. You owe your brother that. 

 

"In those memories   
where time has  
stopped"

 

As you learned to pick yourself up again, you came to notice that those people, who were once your friends, had left you too. You didn't mind though. Now, being alone seemed like one of the most precious things to you. Kyungsoo said that "For someone who used to be so people-oriented, you sure have changed. But I'm glad you're happy." Honestly, you aren't sure what would have happened if you didn't have Kyungsoo in your life, being your only emotional support. Yes, your parents were caring, but it wasn't like you wanted to stress them out even more. They hardly had any time to rest nowadays, with the restaurant getting more popular.   
Heck, Kyungsoo was probably your physical support too, judging by the way he juggled his university studies with helping out at the restaurant while still nagging at you to focus more on your own studies and to stop worrying about the restaurant.   
But days like those just gave you more time to think. Thinking just made your chest ache. Because all that could flood your mind was Baekhyun's pretty hands, Baekhyun's brown eyes, Baekhyun's smooth hair, Baekhyun's secure arms and the way he still had a height advantage over you and loved to tuck your head under his chin. If you just hold yourself under the warm sunlight and close your eyes, it would feel as if you were in his arms again. That was the worst part about being the one who was left behind. The memories, that were etched into every nook and cranny of your very own house, still latch onto you. You have no escape; from his melodious laughter, his boisterous greetings whenever he caught sight of you, his smile, so soft that you could almost melt along with it.   
But what you really want to escape are the fights; the shouting and the accusations that were along the lines of "Oh, now you want to spend time with me! Now you care!", the loud crash of ceramic being flung to the ground, the pained look of regret that stained his usually worry-free face, the too-late apologies which went unheard as you dashed madly for the door.   
You should have known that even Baekhyun, the carefree boy, had his limits.   
The next day, when you returned to knock on his door, his mother had greeted you with sad eyes and sagging shoulders.   
"I'm sorry, dear."   
Images of him flickered rapidly through your head. Him tearing into his wardrobe while struggling to wipe his hot tears away, pleading with his lone mother, lugging his suitcase behind him, almost tripping over the uneven ramp at the entrance of the island's airport and settling down in his window seat with a sudden fear of leaving.   
Everything feels like a dream- no, a nightmare. But the presence of his pre-owned pullovers, which still carries his scent, makes that hard to believe. Maybe one day, when you would be able to truly let it go, you could even think back and smile nostalgically. 

 

"Even when the waves  
came, we didn't   
come apart"

 

Kyungsoo said Baekhyun had pleaded with him to take care of his mother. "Nothing else." he had repeated twice, with a long stretch of silent contemplation in between each phrase, and furrowed brows. Your desire to question his tight-lipped smile grew to become an unbearable itch, but you knew Kyungsoo had his reasons to keep things from you. After all, you trusted him with your life. That's why you chose to shut your mouth and focus on getting your life back in order again.   
But then he comes back.   
The island you stay on isn't very big. Instead, it's one of those cozy town-like places where everybody knows each other. So it's normal for everything to, quite literally, blow up when Byun Baekhyun comes home. Byun Baekhyun has come back after two months and three days. You think you might or might not have even counted the hours and minutes. You wish you didn't care, but your heart races all of a sudden and it's a drastic change from your dull heartbeat that you were starting to adapt to. You feel like you've just run 5 miles, breathless and frantic for water, and you just want to know. You need to know if he has been thinking of your smile everyday since he left, just like you have missed the crinkles by his eyes when he smiles. You need to know if he's been feeling the same hollowness in his heart; one that has seemed to have consumed you entirely.   
Does he even remember you? Like how you remember that he used to love singing in the morning on the way to school before pinching your nose fondly and waving as you made faces and walked further from the school gate and into school. Like how you remember his familiar pats on the top your head whenever he found you cute. Like how you remember him frequently ruffling his own hair until the soft hairs stuck up in all directions just because he had nothing better to do. Like how you remember that one time he had quietly laced his cold fingers with yours as a faint shade of pink spread over his ears. It had even snowed gently that night when you two strolled by the beach while craning your necks to watch the stars.   
But then, why is he suddenly back now? He even got a girlfriend. Oh. Oh. Maybe he's back to rub it into your face.  
You don't understand when it became like that; when you started seeing Baekhyun differently, like he was evil and heartless. But it happened and you blame it entirely on him-for running away.   
You’re standing by your bedroom window again when your mother jogs in and tells you excitedly that Baekhyun is here. She’s searching your face for even just a tiny bit of happiness, but she fails and you quickly brush past her before she can question you. You tell yourself the same thing that you’ve been repeating for the past 2 months; mummy’s just too busy to have noticed. It’s not her fault. In fact, it’s good that she doesn’t know.   
Your heart’s revving up like the engine of a car and soon, it’s going to be pounding against your chest, wanting to be let out. This time you have the right to run away. But you can’t. You won’t. Because as much as you want him to feel as messed up as you, something just restricts you from truly hating him. You pad through the hallway which leads to the door while straightening your back and squaring your shoulders. You’re currently, in your grey pullover and black runner shorts, looking like a complete slob. But who is there to even impress anymore?   
The first thing that's even coherent in your head is that Baekhyun's hair is blond and highlighted with pink.  
Heck, he looks fine.   
On purpose, you look him in the eyes and smile. You’re glad you didn’t spit out the first thing that came to mind; How’s your girlfriend? You must be really happy, huh? After ditching me?   
Baekhyun’s mouth falls open and he avoids your eyes. All the bitterness rushes back and you instinctively grind your teeth together. You feel sour and you just can’t help but step out from the protection of your home and onto the patio, shutting the door behind you. The wait drags on irritably, and you start to feel your exhaustion tugging at you.   
“I’m sorry. I know I had no right to just leave you behind, especially for such a childish reason. I should have talked to you, but I was afraid. I-” Baekhyun scrambles, wringing his hands.  
“Afraid? You were afraid? Wow. That makes me feel so much better Byun Baekhyun.” You’re erupting. Abort mission, abort mission.   
“Yes! I was a coward and I was afraid to hurt you even more. All we ever did was fight, and I just felt that you would be happier without me here to annoy you or...or just piss you off! I’m sorry! We were both having a shit time, and I just wanted you to be happy.” Disappointment is like an extinguisher that causes your anger sizzle out.  
“And you thought leaving me, your best friend, would be the best solution? Leaving your best friend who you knew perfectly was so afraid of being alone?” You whisper. You’re staring to your left now, at the beach, and scorching tears are fogging up your vision.   
“It’s not fair how you could just run away like that. How do you think it felt like to be stuck where all our memories were made, and feeling that you just never wanted anything to do with me again?” You continue. Your voice is trembling but the winds are turbulent and howling.  
Just hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. Just tell me you’ll stay. Promise me that you’ll never leave again, and give me the faith to believe you once again. Just try one more time.  
You suck in a breath when you see Baekhyun inch closer to you in your peripheral vision. You’re frightened to move, in case he startles and backs off. He lifts his arm and it seems like he’s about to pull you in for a hug, but he jerks to a stop and his arm falls. It’s almost as if time has stopped, and you can feel every single part of your heart crumbling. You had put in so much effort to stitch the pieces together, and now everything has gone to waste.   
Baekhyun walks away.   
You can’t bear to see his slowly dwindling back view, so you spin around and face the oncoming winds that slam into you, forcing your tears to roll down your cheeks.  
Coldness overwhelms you, but then in your confusion, you’re suddenly feeling heat seep through your pullover. You look down and realise that it wasn’t the wind that had slammed into you, it was Baekhyun. And his arms are wound tightly around your waist while his head leans on the back of your exposed neck. His warm breath caresses your skin as he speaks, “I’m sorry. I miss you. Please forgive me. I swear i’ll do anything to get back what I threw away. I love you.”   
A heart-wrenching sob wrecks your frame and your grab at his arms to make sure that he's really there. You hold on to his arm with your right hand and use your left hand to reach back for his head. The moment you feel his soft hair tickle your palm, you know that you're not dreaming. 

 

"We can't look back  
or forward anymore"

 

Turns out, Taeyeon was just a girl who Baekhyun had planned to use as rebound. But he had felt too guilty to hurt the one person who had welcomed him like family and showered him with care. Taeyeon was literally like an older sister to him.   
According to Baekhyun, he had arrived to Seoul with a beaten and battered heart and bumped into Taeyeon who was also going through some relationship related hardship. The two had told each other their own story over 5 bottles of beer and had built a mutual understanding. Then, the two drunkards stupidly decided to be each other's rebound in order to get over the pangs of heartbreak. That was when they had taken that photo and convinced themselves, not that much convincing was needed anyway, to send it to Kyungsoo. Their goal was to get you to despise him so you could move on, somehow, without sorrow. Typically brainless.   
You had listened to his story, with puffy eyes, while devouring a tub of cookie dough ice cream and processing every bit of information with much difficulty. Despite this, you found the fact that you two were cozily burrowed in the blankets on your bed, your back to his chest, very comforting. Both of you had exchanged thoughts and inner feelings with shy glances and hidden blushes, and made new promises to never stop trying and instead to stop running from problems. It would take a while for the trust between you two to be completely stable again, but you are determined to putty the holes and faults in the currently brittle walls in order to achieve a newly improved one. Now, you're just glad that you two had had a strong foundation to begin with.   
"Wait, don't you have to go back for college? I mean you did register, right?" you ask once you've settled back under the covers from placing the empty paper container which once held ice cream onto the side table.   
Scratching his head lazily, Baekhyun replies, "Yeah i do. I actually got their letter of acceptance a week before I had left, but everything was really crazy then. So I didn't mention anything. But hey! Byun Baekhyun is a smart man now." He chuckles and continues, "Anyway, I have a month before I have a start on actual classes and curriculum. So I let the school know that I would be spending it here." He looks down at you and taps your nose gently while murmuring, "With you." 

 

"Let's forget  
today and go back to  
those times"

 

During the month of pre-college holiday that Baekhyun had, everything had pretty much gone back to normal. If not, it had gotten much better than before. "Distance really does make the heart fonder" you think as a smile stretches across your face.   
You pop a cracker into your mouth, but it’s a little too big to fit your mouth, so half of it sticks out. And as you are about to bite down, you swivel in your chair and notice Baekhyun sneaking up to you with a playful smile. Before you can even react, he leans in and takes that half of the cracker into his mouth and lets his lips brush against yours ever so lightly before pulling away and acting innocent.   
If you weren't occupied with being frozen to the spot, you swear you would've delivered a sharp smack to his arm. But, unfortunately, you're too shocked to be able to process anything. A heat immediately spreads over your cheeks and ears, so you spin around and start fanning profusely at your close-to-glowing skin.   
Baekhyun's victorious laughs send you turning back and narrowing your eyes at him. He doesn't shut up.   
"Y-yah, Byun Baekhyun! What...what do you think you're doing?" You sputter, feeling way too tiny than you are normally used to. Letting out an indignant puff of air, you continue, "Gosh! Some people are so ru-"   
Baekhyun suddenly shoves his face right in front of yours and the distance between you two is less than an inch. You can almost feel his eyelashes fanning against your own and your mind goes blank.   
"Pardon?" Baekhyun questions with a smirk in his voice.   
Red lights flash and sirens blare behind your eyes and you rush to push Baekhyun away before shooting up to get out of your room. Blood rushes to your head, sending your thundering heartbeat along with it.   
What do I do? Oh crap, what do I do? I'm so messed up. He's going to think I don't like him that way and stuff and he'll just forget me now. Great going! Just perf-  
Everything is a blur and you find Baekhyun's firm grip on your wrist, holding you in place. You're about to let loose a string of curses when his hands move to cradle your face and your jaw goes slack once again. Why do I still let him do this? You look like an idiot. And his lips, his soft yet slightly chapped and pink lips, meet yours. Butterflies erupt from the depths of your stomach. Their wings are as light as your head and all you want to do is giggle. Correction- all you want to do is giggle and pounce onto your bed to tangle your legs with the sheets and roll around like a kid on a sugar rush. It's such a craze. You want to jump and scream and dance, but you settle for smiling into the kiss while running your fingers through Baekhyun's soft locks. What did you do to deserve such luck? It's ecstatic to know that you're one of those people who get the minuscule chance to lose their first kiss with your first love; that you get to kiss Byun Baekhyun.   
It's sweet, tender and careful and you take your time to savour this living memory, praying that you'll always remember all the ups and downs that you've been through with this man. You're praying that both of you will forever reminisce about the past, no matter how bad. Because every memory where Baekhyun is concerned, you'll learn to cherish.   
"Will you remember?" You ask quietly against his lips after you've pulled away, still smiling as brilliantly.   
"I'll never forget." Baekhyun promises, smiling back softly.

—끝—


End file.
